The Note

Lily thinks my dream girl is a total snob. She says Madison Prewitt doesn’t even know I exist, which is not true. Sure, I may only exist in Madison’s world the way a piece of furniture exists in a room, albeit one that’s been set aside, in the corner, perhaps an old chair with an uneven leg with a note that says “free” as it’s about to be set out on the curb, but hey, I’m there. I’m in the room.

Madison and I have chemistry together. Chemistry class, that is. She sits in the third row from the window, two seats in front of me. She wears preppy pink or purple collared shirts that only accentuate her tan arms and make me think of tennis courts or golf or horse racing or whatever it is rich people do all summer. She runs her fingers through her silky hair the way one might in a shampoo commercial. Her long legs make it impossible to think about concentrate, so labs can be dangerous and periodic tables are jumbled.

Three weeks ago she smiled at me, I think. At least she smiled as her eyes happened to meet my gaze when we were coming into class. The spray of freckles across her nose blurred and I walked into a desk. I dream about that smile almost every night.

The point being, Lily is wrong. Madison is aloof, maybe. But not a snob. I like to think she’s above the crude jokes and the everyday gossip. In the hallways she glides along, a book or two in her hand, talking to boys with blonde curls and big smiles. I do not have blonde curls. My smile is crooked. I once spent a summer trying to bend it into place until Lily said it was time to have a serious talk about Tourette’s Syndrome. I still don’t know if she was joking.

But we’re sophomores now. I’ve grown three inches since last year. And unlike Lily I have a clear goal set in place. I have a plan, which I put into action the next morning as I wake up, grab a bowl of cereal, feed my dog Ray, then my little brother Harry, and then get cracking on a good old fashioned letter. Lily is always going on about the lost art of handwriting, so it’s kind of where I got the idea. Only it’s easier said than done.

Dear Madison,

You probably don’t know me…

Nope.

Hey Mads…

Terrible

You are the most beautiful…

Gag.

Last night, I dreamt up a scenario where I gave Madison the letter and she’s swept up with my charm and the next thing I know the whole school is talking about us. We’re going to Homecoming. She treats me to the country club and I finally see what’s behind those stately hedges. And no one is smoking a pipe, like Lily is always claiming.

Madison, 

I bang out some okay prose before Harry asks what I’m doing. He’s dribbling milk everywhere and so I slide away from him and tell him to be quiet. Unfortunately, he can read.

“Madison,” he says, spraying milk everywhere.

“Who is Madison?” Mom wants to know. She’s got her eyebrows cocked and a mortifying smile on her face. My cheeks go aflame and I fold up the letter. Harry goes on about Madison. Madison. Madison. Mom finally gets it and tells him to shush.

It’s no use. I get my thinks and shuffle to the bus stop. It isn’t until I’m at my locker, that I see the milk dribble on my shirt.

“Hey nerd.”

I spin and find Lily, her stuffed book-bag like an anvil on her back. I wipe down my shirt and nod. “Hey Lil.”

“Please tell me you caught up on Spy Spinners last night?”

I grab my chemistry book and slam my locker shut. “Yeah, no, I’m uh,” I glance down the hallway. Today was supposed to be the day but my confidence is shot. What would I say, anyway? A girl like Madison isn’t going to want my stupid letter. And she’s never going to talk to me. No girl is.

Lily hunches her shoulders, shifts her book-bag in place then fixes her glasses. “Ugh, you need to get on it so we can watch the new ones. Actually, I may have peeked already, as in watched them all. But I mean, it’s not my fault you’re lame. You can’t expect me to wait around for you to catch up. So anyway, so, Darius had this mission and…”

The deal was that we have to watch the new shows together, but I’ve been preoccupied. We walk down the hallway, like we always do, Lily jabbering on with the recap. I’m hardly listening, still trying to drum up some courage when she waves her hands in front of me. “Josh. Earth to Josh.”

“Huh?”

I turn to Lily and she watches me for a minute until her gaze drops to the floor.

“Lil?”

She reaches into her pocket. “Hey, um… if you really want Madison’s attention…” She looks around, bites her lip the way she does when she’s up on the high dive at the pool. Her eyes are wide and something is different. I think she’s wearing mascara. She thrusts a warm note into my palm. “Give her something like this.”

The bell rings and Lily blows out her bangs and starts to say something else but doesn’t. Then she blurts it out. “Just, well… Use her name where I used your name. You know, that way… Okay bye.”

She turns and nearly sprints down the hall, the anvil bouncing on her back. And I’m left with her note, still warm in my hand. I’m so confused that I hardly even notice it when Madison Prewitt approaches. She sets a hand on my shoulder, those freckles blurring.

“I think she likes you, Josh.”