Fluff

Hello, welcome to Darkstar Limited. You must be Fluffy.

At your service. Wow, I love these wing back chairs.

Thanks. Have have a seat, Fluffy.

Why thank you. Ooh, nice and soft on my tushy.

Great. Did you have any trouble getting here?

Well, funny story. I took a wrong turn and got all sorts of turned around. Major whoopsie on my part. But i met lots of nice people along my way and had quite the adventure. I even saw a rainbow!

Fluffy. I’m going to dive right in here. What makes you think you’re ready for this sort of thing?”

Well, first, Mr.?

Fang.

Yikes. Mr. Fang. I must say that you’re much scarier in person, and I mean that only as a compliment. I’ve been working on my spooky appearance as well, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. Now I presume you have my resume there in the sparkly folder. So you can see for yourself. Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve done quite the share of naughty things.

Fluffy. It’s cute. Really. I commend you for looking to branch out. Your soft and fuzzy and you’ve had a remarkable run as a naughty little bear. But we’re looking for something current. Something trending. Clowns seem to be the thing right now…

Yay! I love clowns!

I’m sure Fluff. But this isn’t the picture books. I’m talking blood. Guts. Gore. That being said, I could use a children’s bear, it could work in a creepy sort of way. But not you. You don’t have the stomach for this sort of thing.

I…do.

Do you?

I’ve been in more trouble than any bear in Sunnyville.

Fluffy, look at me.

I…can’t. You’re being a grumpy bear.

Fluffy.

Well, you are. Papa Bear tells us never to say can’t.

Let’s start over, Fluffy. Did you get a cup of coffee?

I did. Thank you.

Did you add sugar?

Just a teensy bit.

Magic Sparkles?

Gulp.

You’re wasting my time, Fluffy.

I can do the job. I know I can. One time we found a bees nest. And all the little cubs—

Can you bite a kid’s head clean off, Fluffy?

Oh dear.

Let me hear your finest roar.

Well, can you give me a second to warm up?

Take your time.

Are you sleeping? Are you sleeping, Brother John…Are you—

Stop.

Sorry.

Fluffy, I’m asking you to rip flesh from limbs. Drink the blood of innocent children.

Double dear. But I can be super naughty. One time I hid all the pies from the cubbies. Another time, sorry, this gives me the giggles. I filled Burton’s shoes with cotton candy and…what?

Fluffy. I’m a busy beast.

Oh Pumpkin doodles. You made me spill my coffee.

Villains don’t say Pumpkin Doodles, Fluffy. That’s my point.

I see.

Fluffy, are you familiar with Satan?

Does he live in Sunnydale?

It’s nothing personal. You’re a fine Naughty bear.

Really? You think so?

Certainly. This work isn’t for everyone.

That’s for sure.

Best of luck Fluffy Bear.

Very well. But Mr. Fang?

Yes Fluffy?

Can I have a hug before I go?

Sure Fluffy. Come on, bring it in.

 

 

–PeteFanning/2017